Outside My Comfort Zone (Carpe Diem)

Last week I turned 20, which is rather frightening. I know it's just a number, just another year, but we organize our years into decades, and this decade will likely be the most influential of my life. When they are twenty-something, many people get married, graduate college (or don't), and make lasting career- and life-choices. Perhaps it's because I just turned 20 that I have been deeply thinking about myself, my identity, and where I'm trying to go in life. 

I've realized something about myself: I'm very hesitant to get outside my comfort zone, to take chances, to try new things. As I think about my life, I realize that there are countless opportunities, but it's up to me to actually seize the opportunities. I've met many people who had the opportunities, the talents, but did not take advantage of them, and I could easily be one of them. 

In the first place, I am a cautious person who tends to over-think decisions because I don't like feeling overwhelmed. I tend to wait for opportunities to fall right in my lap. For example, I almost didn't apply to my college's honors program because I thought it might be too difficult, but thankfully a professor who was helping me register for classes suggested that I should apply. Now I am so glad that I did because it was through the honors program that I met many of my closest college friends. Even though I am often glad when I do take chances, in general people have to persuade me to step outside my comfort zone.

I also have trouble being innovative and knowing creative ways to achieve my goals. I'm great at setting goals and meeting them when they are straight-forward. Get good grades in high school so you can go to college. I could do that. When it comes to issues in which I have to discover on my own how to achieve my goals, however, I am not always certain what to do. There is no step-by-step formula to life (and I'm glad there isn't), but I would like to know where to start. I really admire the people I know who have recorded music, written a book, made an image for themselves - all before they graduate college. I want to be like them - and who's to say I can't? Why couldn't I be a writer? Why couldn't I travel abroad to the many places I would like to visit? Why couldn't I move to a big city where I know no one? 

I am realizing that it starts with getting out of my comfort zone, with being a little uncomfortable for a while. Even though it is somewhat abstract, this is my new goal, and I start by writing this blog.